Last week stunk for me...just plain stunk! I really feel like my hormones are still leveling out, but mainly now that I'm feeling better I feel that Satan was really attacking me. Let's be real...he is alive and well and working really hard at trying to get us to feel bad about ourselves or persuade us to do bad things. Last week I just felt so completely overwhelmed with my job as a homemaker and mother and the fact that Michael doesn't have a job and it's coming up on 7 months soon that I needed a break. So where do you go when you need a pick me up...Mom and Dad's house of course!!!
Michael was so wonderful about the whole thing...he told me to go and take the time I needed. After all he's home right now so it really was a perfect time for me to have a meltdown. HAHA!!!
My Mom and Dad were of course there will open arms and ears. My Mom is so good about not jumping right into what's bothering me, but just being there and waiting for me to be ready to open up and get my feelings out. The first night we talked a lot and then the next night we had some girl time/shopping therapy...so nice! As you can see my Dad was pretty smitten with having a sweet little girl at his house...she looks pretty smitten too! 
Ella and I spent 2 whole days away and it was so rejuvenating. It was so fun having alone time with Ella and giving her some special one on one attention. It was also nice to take care of myself and frankly be a little selfish. I'm not going to lie and say that everything was perfect once I got home. Saturday was another bad day...I just feel like Satan is whispering in my ears, "You can't do this!"..."You're such an awful mother!"..."Just give up!". His words are piercing my heart, but I know they don't have power over me! I'm choosing to turn a deaf ear to his lies!!! I AM a good mother...do I have bad days, heck yeah!! But God's mercies are new EVERY MORNING! 
My children are a blessing from God and I'm not going to waste this short time in their lives beating myself up about the mistakes I do make. I'm going pick myself up, brush myself off and do the best that I can with the strength God has given me. I'm going to learn from my mistakes and try to do better. And most of all I'm going to love my babies no matter what!
Speaking of strength...this sweet 3 month old is getting pretty strong. She loves to stand up when we hold her and she's doing great with keeping her head off the ground during tummy time.
You are NOT alone! I struggle with the same defeating thoughts. But you are right, they are NOT true and we should not give those thought any power over us.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got a break...it is so vital that we take care of ourselves too. I think us mommas get this martyr complex and think that we can do it all and forget that we have needs too. In fact, I got a break this weekend myself! We had been planning on going to Corbin's mom's for the weekend, for him to help her with some chores around the house. I dawned on me that there was no real reason for me to go. So, I didn't. I was SO nice to have a quiet house and spend time with Simon too : )
Hang in there! Know you're not alone and like you I am SO thankful that God's mercies ARE new every morning! Hope you have a good day!