Day 5 - Write Down What You Hear!
So yesterday was all about those negative voices that pop up and tell us ladies that we aren't good enough and that it's just too much and we'll never get it done. FlyLady wanted me to write down the negative thoughts and then turn them around and say something positive to myself. The only thing was I didn't have any negative thought concerning this yesterday. I'm sure there will be days though! Since yesterday was Sunday it was a pretty relaxed day...now if this was a weekday I might have had some negative thoughts.
On top of tackling my household CHAOS (Did you know that FlyLady has an acronym for that too...it's Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) we are also tackling behavior chaos with the kids. Like I mentioned in a previous post we decided to read 'Have A New Kid By Friday' and we are currently on Thursday of the book. We started last Friday and let me tell you Friday was B.U.S.Y!!
On of the main principles of correcting bad behavior is by responding to it not reacting to it. Just like a patient at a hospital responding to medicine is a good thing, but reacting to medicine is a bad thing. So for example if one of the kids spits at another kid in the car instead of getting mad and telling them not to do it we just hang back and say nothing and then when we get home or wherever we're going the very next time that child asks for gets denied....a simple NO! Most kids will get a little irritated (I say that because Jack doesn't really care right now so he's taking longer to catch on) and ask again or get agitated. Part of the principle is after you say no you turn around and walk away. That's so the child with not be able to argue and they will pursue you. When they are really panicky about it that's when you know you have their attention and can explain why they aren't getting what they want. Child...you are not going to play outside because you spit on child in the car....this is unacceptable behavior and will not be tolerated. Then walk away! No arguing...it is what it is period!
This has revolutionized our household! I tell you arguing has been one of my biggest complaints. Walking away just shows the child that you won't stand for them to sit there and argue...you aren't going to listen to it. Your word is your word!
Needless to say I did a lot of walking on Friday...round and round our house over and over again! But the behavior has gotten so much better. We have kids that are using their manners and also listening after being told ONCE! Go figure!
Another big part of the principles is Reality Discipline...just letting things happen so kids can learn from it. Not trying to save them from everything. We almost had a really good example of this when I asked Owen to get his shoes on so we could go to Wal-Mart and he said, "No!" Jack said, "Well then you won't have any shoes!" Exactly Jack...I was absolutely going to let Owen go to Wal-Mart with no shoes and I know he would NOT have liked that at all, but in the end he did put his shoes on. We had another incident with shoes though where I told Owen to put his shoes on and he was just taking his sweet time and I said if you're not ready to go by the time I am I'm leaving....and I did! He wasn't able to go Fred Meyer's with me, but I bet the next time he'll put his shoes on when I ask him to!
At times it's seems a little brutal, but you know what it's just life. Kids have to understand that this world isn't going to be handed to them on a silver platter. So far we are very happy with the results and we're not even done yet. I would totally recommend this book and it's principles to anyone who would like to get some behavior issues under control. The funny thing is that it's not so much about the kids behavior because they are just doing what they have been taught to do...it's more about us parents adjusting our behavior and sticking to it!
Side Note: Owen cut a chunk of Ella's hair yerterday while Michael and I were in the shower. It was mainly my fault because when I was decluttering the kitchen I moved a couple pair of scissors upstairs since we had about 6 pair in the drawer. When we are in the shower they usually just stay in our bed and watch cartoons so I don't worry about them getting into stuff. It's not horrible, but I did cry!
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