Anxiety!

My last doctors appt was at the beginning of December and my next appt wasn't supposed to be until January 5th, but the more time past the more anxious I found myself getting. This Sunday I started really getting nervous. Nothing had changed in regards to my body to make me be nervous it was just me. On Monday I called to see if my doctor or the PA was in so I could just come in and hear the heartbeat. They were both out this week...surprise surprise, but they told me I could come in and see one of the nurses instead.

I think the main reasons I was starting to get nervous is because I'm at that awkward stage where I'm showing, but I'm still not really feeling the baby move yet. I know it's still early...I'm 16 weeks now, but I also know that once I start feeling the baby I'm going to get that reassurance on a more regular basis. I've also been concerned not only because of my past miscarriage history, but I have two other friends that lost their babies around this time in their pregnancy and it just freaks me out. When I was pregnant with Kyan he died around 10 weeks, but we didn't find out until I was supposed to be 13 weeks pregnant. During that time we celebrated Easter and had family pictures taken when we were at church....nothing professional, but still it was nice family pictures with my parents. When we found out that Kyan had died it made it so hard to look at those pictures knowing that at that moment I didn't know that my baby was already dead inside me. With Christmas coming up I really didn't want the chance of that sort of thing happening again so off to the doctors I went.

The staff are so nice at my OBGYN's and they completely understood my concerns and wanted to help calm my anxiety. The nurse took me back to the exam room and put the Doppler thing on my belly and then turned it on and right away we heard LOUD and clear...bump bump bump bump bump! She even said, "That was easy!" and then she checked my pulse to make sure it wasn't my heartbeat she was picking up because I was nervous. Nope it wasn't mine...that baby was front and center and ready to be found. The heart was beating away at 160 BPM. So thankful! PTL!!!

16 weeks!