See that tiny dot on the 28th? That dot happens to be on October 28th of this year. Remember when I mentioned I couldn't bring myself to write the baby's due date on the calendar? That's where the pen touched that day and then I pulled my hand away. Something stopped me from actually writing it in...I just couldn't do it! The other day I happened to turn to the month of October and I noticed that dot. That tiny dot that brought a whole lot of thoughts into my head.
Thoughts of how I should be walking around feeling a baby moving in my womb. Thoughts of how my lap should be quickly disappearing. Thoughts of how many kisses my belly should be getting from Ella kissing the baby. Thoughts of holding a nursing a baby in just a few short months. Thoughts of changing cute little teeny tiny diapers.
But those are just thoughts...they are not a reality!
At least not right now...on my doctor's advise I am going to be visiting my OBGYN in August to consult with her on whether or not she feels comfortable with me getting pregnant while taking my meds. We'll see what she says and what God has in store for our family.
Thinking of you Lyns. I understand those small reminders - time heals but sometimes TIME can't go fast enough!! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteIm so sorry, friend. Nothing about this is easy. And sadly, no one can fix it, you just gotta keep walking through it. But God DOES have a plan for you family! I will be praying for you as he reveals it to you bit by bit.
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