6....Is That Your Final Answer?

We are now a family of 6 and I'm happy, but can you believe that even before I was moved out of my postpartum room after having my C-Section I was already saying, "I could do this again!" Kind of hard to believe since about a week before Zeke was born I was seriously ready to almost cut him out myself. Of course after I finished saying that I could do it again I got THE look from Michael followed by a firm and stern, "No...we are done!"

In the days that have followed I've mentioned it again and again and each time it's the same response....nope! I did go into Zeke's pregnancy knowing it was going to be my last, but to actually have it over and know that that chapter of my life is now over....ouch! I will never again get to see that double line on a pregnancy test, or go to the doctor and nervously wait to see that first ultrasound of a new little baby growing inside of me, or get to tell friends and family the good news, or feel the beautiful life growing and kicking inside of me. I know that mostly this is me riding the "I just had a baby hormone high", but it's so hard to say with finality...."We are done!"

Another thing that's been hard was putting away the little girl clothes that I had washed just in case Baby Z was a girl. It's not that I'm sad Zeke is a boy it's just we didn't know the gender so in my heart I had hopes both ways. I really didn't have a definitely feeling one way or another. I would say I was leaning more towards feeling it was a boy at the end, but I didn't want to let myself feel completely one way or another and then be disappointed. Not that any baby is a disappointment, but I think you know what I mean. I do think it would have been fun for Ella to have a sister. I have friends that have sisters and that bond is special. I always wished I had a sister...someone to talk about boys with and do our nails and go shopping. Ultimately I'm confident that God knew that our family needed Zeke and I'm so happy He blessed us with him. All the kids are completely in love with him as Michael and I are.

Do I still want another baby? Right now I would say yes. Can we afford another baby? Truthfully...not really. Michael is going to go in and have surgery...the dates not set yet and I'm sure when it is all said and done there will be some tears shed as that chapter in our lives will truly be over.

Zeke's Birth Story

On Tuesday after getting home from MOPS I got the kids there lunch and then sat down with them to eat some macaroni and cheese. I took one bite, but it just didn't taste very good...plus we eat at MOPS so I wasn't too terribly hungry then. After putting Ella down for her nap I finished up a craft I was working on and then put a movie in for the boys and went to take a nap. I wasn't sure if I should take one at first since the last time I took a nap in the middle of the day I ended up sleeping horribly that night. But I figured if my body was telling me to sleep I should do.

I woke up from my nap at 3:15, went downstairs and told the boys to come snuggle me in bed and watch Curious George. The boys and I snuggle Jack on my right and Owen on my left. I asked them to talk to the baby and tell Baby Z that it was time to come out so they could snuggle. 5 minutes later my contractions started at 3:38pm.

I started monitoring my contractions and they were pretty sporadic at first, but then they became more consistent coming every 4 minutes. I had already called the on-call doctor and she told me to call her back when they were closer together. When I called her the second time she told us to come on in.

After I spoke with the doctor the first time I called my mom to tell her the news. She was getting a pedicure, but once she was finished they drove home, got their suitcases and came to the house to be with the kiddos.

It was a new experience...me going into labor while the kids were still awake. We talked about how the baby was going to come soon and that Ga-Ga & Pa would bring them to the hospital to meet their new sibling.

Ga-Ga and Pa got to our house around 6:45 and Pa took this last picture of us as a family of 5!

We got to the hospital a little after 7pm and went right up to triage. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and sure enough I was contracting. She checked my cervix to see if was dilated...on Thursday at my doctors appointment it wasn't at all. In triage she said I was a 1 cm.

Sitting in triage waiting to get hooked up!

Poor Michael had the worst night sleep on Monday night so he was already running on fumes.

Since having Ella the rules have changed a bit at Swedish...I'm sure they have at other hospitals as well. Since I wasn't 39 weeks yet they have to make sure you are truly truly in labor before they will just take the baby...even though I technically don't have to labor at all. This is when I started thinking they just might send us home. To see if I could make more progress they had Michael and I walk through the hospital hallways for an hour. During that time the contractions got much stronger. At 9:10pm we headed back up to triage where the nurse checked me again and I was still at a 1 cm...no progress at all. The nurse told Dr. Pray how my contractions had gotten stronger and more consistent so when she came in to see me she said, "Are you ready to have a baby?" Heck yeah!

Baby #4!!!

After our nurse and the anesthesia doctor had finished running around trying to get everything they needed to start the C-Section...forms to be signed, IV to be hooked up and medical junk to be conveyed we ended up getting bumped back. Another woman came in completely ready to push so she got precedence over me. She seriously must have almost given birth in the car because I think we all ended up waiting another 20 minutes or so.

All suited up and ready to go to the OR.

Sitting on the table waiting to get my spinal block.

After spinal block...feeling a bit icky.

Crazy!!! Dr. Pray has her hand in my abdominal cavity!

Pulling baby out! Michael got to be the one to announce that Baby Z was a boy!

So happy my baby is here!

11:10pm May 22nd 2012. My friend Erin McGinnis guessed this day as Baby Z's birthday!

Baby Z really only let out a couple cries. He had a bunch of junk stuck in his nose and throat so they had to suchion that out.

Cute little guy....7lbs 5.4oz and only 18 inches long! I was sure he was going to be way bigger than that since I was so freakin' huge!!

Getting to hold my baby boy for the first time!

Poor baby had a bit of trouble transitioning from the womb to the outside world. At 12:15 he was taking up to the NICU so they could help him regulate his breathing and oxygen saturation better. It turned out to be a really good thing since I was having a hard time transitioning as well. Normally after my C-Sections I itch like crazy so this time the anesthesia doctor didn't give me a certain pain meds in hopes that I wouldn't have to deal with that. So the nurse ended up having to use some other pain meds to get my pain under control. I was also having a lot of bleeding at this point so they had to give me another med to make my uterus contract so the bleeding would slow down.

Around 4:10 or so my pain was under control so they wheeled me up to the NICU in my bed and I got to really see my baby boy for the first time. He was doing much better so I tried to nurse him...he wasn't quite getting it yet. Around 5am they took us down to our room.

Thankfully the bed for Michael in my room is SO much better than the bed he had to sleep on when Ella was born. He was seriously pooped out.

I really haven't slept much so I'm exhausted as well. Ga-Ga & Pa will be bringing the kiddos up to meet their new baby brother later today. Now I need to focus on getting some rest, feeding this cute baby boy and just plain lovin' on him!

Welcome to the world...Zeke Russell Martin!

Nesting & Des Moines Beach Park!

On Saturday we did a bunch of stuff around the house. I went into some serious nesting mode and decided it was time to consolidate and organize the kids toys. The playroom was just out of control and most of the time the kids weren't even playing with their toys. Michael had mentioned that it might be nice to put some toys away so it wouldn't feel so overwhelming for the kids. I think he was thinking that he would take care of it after the baby came, but on Saturday morning I walked into the playroom and it was all downhill after that! I put a ton of toys away and organized the rest so the room is much more cleaner looking. And you know what...the kids weren't mad at all. I did explain that we weren't throwing the toys away we were just putting them away and we'd bring them back out another time.

After taking care of that and a few other normal chores around the house I went out and mowed our backyard. As well as nesting it was my goal on Saturday to move around a lot and possibly trigger my body into labor. Once Jack and Ella took naps we got in the van and took the kids to Des Moines Beach Park to check out the crabs.

The kids love to pull the rocks up and see the little crabs go running. Owen could probably do this ALL. DAY. LONG!

Ella is so not a girly girl when it comes to this kind of stuff. She is just fine with picking up worms, roly poly bugs and even crabs! The one she's trying to get in this picture she couldn't quite get it so Daddy helped her out.

They are so tiny and they don't really pinch you and even if they do it doesn't really hurt. Even so...you won't catch me picking up one!

After a bit I decided to walk closer to shore and sit on a log and watch.

My cute little shadow joined me pretty quickly!

When we were done at the beach we took the kids on a walk down the trail by the beach. Owen was very vocal about wanting to stay at the beach and look for crabs. Once we started exploring other things he got into it though.

It was fun getting out into nature and letting the kids explore and run around. As for Baby Z...he or she is quite content and decided it wasn't time to go anywhere!

37 Weeks!

Michael took this picture of me last Wednesday. I was 37 weeks exactly! After he took the picture he said, "Wow...you're huge!" That's right I am! This is also what I'm wearing to bed most nights. I swear I'm on fire most of the time so tank tops and shorts it is and the ceiling fan has been on for the last few weeks too. Poor Michael has to be curled up in a ball snuggled under the covers to sleep.

I'm am SO ready for Baby Z to come. If you follow me on FB I'm sure you are getting a little tired of my updated. It's all about trying to get this kid to come out. Michael has mentioned many times this pregnancy that I seem to be a bit more of a complainer this time around. My thoughts on that are that it's because it's my last time. We are done after this and so in my mind I'm ready to be done! I think another reason is because I don't know what this baby is yet and it's KILLING ME!!! All these months I've done so good not knowing if Baby Z is a boy or a girl, but now it literally is driving me nuts! I want to know what my baby is!

Thinking that Baby Z would come earlier than my scheduled C-Section date I didn't plan much for these last 2 weeks. Needless to say I've been trying to keep myself busy so the days will go by faster. Seriously if any of my friends want to come over and hang out please do!!!!

We are absolutely all ready for baby to come at any time. Car seat in the van - check - pack and play set up - check - bag packed - check - diapers and wipes - check.

Now we just wait to see if Baby Z will make his or her appearance before the 31st or not. I would love it if Baby Z picked the date instead of it being on the scheduled day. There's something to be said about your body naturally going into labor and knowing that your body and your baby are ready.

13th Anniversary & 36 Weeks Pregnant!

To celebrate our 13th Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday, Michael and I went out to dinner at The Lobster Shop while the kiddos stayed home with Ga-Ga & Pa. We were the first diners at the restaurant since we wanted to get there early to take advantage of the Twilight Dinner. The food was fabulous although I ate too much and ended up feeling pretty crumby later that night. It was nice to get out and have some quiet conversation as I'm sure that will be in short supply in the coming months!

On Wednesday I went in for my first weekly doctors appointment. I'm currently 36 weeks, but I'm measuring at 39 weeks. I'm seriously huge...I mean I only have a few outfits I can actually fit into huge. My last doctors appointment prior to my scheduled C-Section is on Friday May 25th...the day I really want Baby Z to be born. I asked my doctor if I make it to that date and I'm really uncomfortable would she be able to just admit me and get the show on the road a few days early. Her response...if you're in labor! Not exactly the words I was wanting to hear. So I can only hope that Baby Z will be like Owen and Ella were and come 3 weeks early! I'm seriously done having my body taken over and not really being able to move. Also there's nothing like being ripped from a sound sleep by round ligament pain 2 times a night.

Let's have some fun and see if anyone can guess when Baby Z will be born. If you're correct you'll get acknowledgement on my FB status that you're super cool! Sounds good huh?

Okay so guess!!

Baby Z's Shower!!

On Sunday my SIL Stephanie threw me a baby shower for Baby Z. She spent so much time going over the details and everything turned out perfect. The menu was so yummy....veggies, fruit, BLT bread bowls, spinach dip, chip and salsa, cheese, nuts, Jelly Bellies and cute little footie candies. It was all so yummy and the best part was she sent me home with tons of leftovers! :)

Stephanie's friend Kelly who made her wedding cake made this cake for the shower. I had requested the same flavor that part of Ryan and Steph's wedding cake was...raspberry and lemon. THE BEST!!!

I love that she used both pink and blue since we don't know if baby is a boy or a girl.

I really wanted to bring Ella to the shower, but I wasn't sure how she would be since it was right after church and she is usually dying for her nap by then. I figured she would spend a bunch of time with Ga-Ga, but no way! She only wanted Mama, but at the same time she was really good for not getting a nap.

Celebrators!

Sherry (Stephanie's Mom), Ellen, Norean and Ga-Ga!

Paige and Michelle

Ella, Jen and Logan. It was so cute to see Logan and Ella since I'm no longer watching Logan they won't be seeing each other as often. They gave each other the biggest hug. Precious girls!

Erin, Becky, Rachael and Lilyann

Stephie, Kim and Tricia

By the time we left Ella Bean was definitely ready to go, but she never once had a meltdown...until it was time to get strapped into her car seat. Thankfully she didn't scream the whole way home.

She crashed in the car! Don't you love the scraped and bruised legs....she is totally a sister with two older brothers. Anyways when I got her out of the van she was saying "nigh nigh" so I just took her upstairs, changed her into her pajamas and put her to bed. She slept from 5:45 Sunday night all the way until 6:45 the next morning. She was party pooped!

Stephie had these pink and blue balloons hanging outside the house and she let me take them home for the kids. I thought it would be fun to take pictures of the boys with the color they think the baby is. 

34 weeks 4 days

And here's Baby Z in all his or her glory! I got these cute new pajamas from Ellen at the shower and I LOVE them. I also got diapers, wipes, bath stuff, nursing pad, baby blankets, a couple gender neutral outfits and gift cards. My mom and I went shopping on Monday night and spent the gift cards getting more diapers, nursing pads, nursing bras, stain remover and a play mat for the baby. Now I just need to pack my bag! Baby Z you can come any day now! :)

Slowing Down & Prepping For Baby Z!

I just noticed that the ticker on the side of my blog is saying there is 37 days left to vote on whether or not Baby Z is a boy or a girl. Wow....for some reason that seriously seems like just a short time! I haven't really paid attention to the actual number of days in a long time. I've been more focused on the fact that I still have over a month to go, but when I think of it in terms of days...oh my!

Life is definitely slowing down at our house and I couldn't be happier! Jack graduated from Occupational Therapy a little over a month ago, I stopped taking the boys to Taekwondo at the beginning of April and I just recently decided to stop going to my Wednesday morning Bible Study. I wish I could keep going, but right now I know that my body needs me to tone it down.

This is also my last week to watch Logan and then I'm on maternity leave. I'm excited to just have my kiddos for 4 1/2 months. And next Monday is our last day of homeschooling and then we'll be on summer break. I'm so proud of all 3 boys and their accomplishments. It's been neat seeing the progress they have made and I'm excited to see what they learn and accomplish next year. We are planning on taking them to a Fire House and then out to MCD's for a big end of the school year finale. We have also talked about having a "program" sort of day so the boys can show of their skills for the Daddys.

I've been waiting until I'm longer watching Logan to make a few changes in preparation for Baby Z. Since she sleeps in the pack and play that Baby Z will I haven't been able to adjust that for a newborn, but at the end of the week I will. I'm also looking forward to being able to take the baby gate of the stairs. All my kids are fine with going upstairs and so is Logan, but I do like having the ability to keep her downstairs since the upstairs is still sort of a novelty for her and she is a sneaky little girl! ;) We are going to be switching things up in regards to the seating arrangement at the table. Since I won't be able to pick Ella up after my C-Section we are moving her into Owen's old chair that has stairs so she can climb up on her own. Owen will be moving into a normal dinning room chair. They will all be moving to a different seating location at the table. If you know Owen you know that he does NOT do well with change so we'll see how this goes. Another thing we will be changing is the seating arrangements in the van. Owen will be staying where he is so he won't be upset, but Jack will be moving up. He is going to sit up next to Baby Z's car seat...this is something he's actually excited about!

I've also been going through my wardrobe. When I first when through my maternity clothes I wasn't really thinking about spring/summer clothes, but after today it was time to take out some of them. Man I've been getting hot lately! This week I'll be 34 weeks and I'm planning on packing my suitcase for the hospital soon. Ever since having Owen 3 weeks early I've always made sure to have my bag packed by 35 weeks. I'm not sure when this baby is going to come, but if I had to put money on it I would definitely say Baby Z is going to come before my scheduled C-Section and if you ask me I'm fine with that!

33 Weeks 1 day!

On Thursday I went in for another ultrasound...my doctor wanted the radiologist to take a really good look at the fluid on the brain of Baby Z just to make sure everything was normal. She decided this at my last appointment since I mentioned the fact that Ella has Hydrocephalus. It's not like it's genetic, but she just wanted to catch it early if there was anything to catch. Praise God everything looked great.

Baby Z's profile!

I didn't really get to watch much of the ultrasound since I didn't want to accidentally see what Baby Z's gender is. I did get to see Baby's cute profile and face. The pictures didn't turn out as good as it was on the screen, but it's still fun to have the pictures. Seeing that cute baby face and lips...oh my...I can't wait to snuggle this cutie patootie.

For some reason it still hasn't really hit me that we are about to have a baby. I think it's partially because I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. I haven't been able to talk to my stomach and say the baby's name. Don't get me wrong I still talk to the baby, but I feel like this time around there has been a bit more of a disconnect. I can't wait for this baby to come though!

Baby is looking right at you...tilt your head to the right...black spot on the top is the eye socket then the black spot under is the nose socket followed by the other eye socket. Baby's hand is up in front of the mouth.

Speaking of baby coming...I would seriously be shocked if I make it to my scheduled C-Section date of May 31st. First off they are estimating that this baby is over 1lb heavier than a typical baby at 33 weeks gestation. Secondly I'm measuring 3 weeks ahead at 36 weeks. Lastly I better not go until the 31st because I'm ready right now! :)

Easter 2012!

The kids were all so excited to get dressed up in their Easter clothes. Getting their pictures in them...not so much! This was the best out of the batch!

Love the snuggly one though!

You might think that this is Ella posing and showing off her shoes, but it's actually her being a stinker and complaining about wanting her shoes off.

This is the picture that I have been dreading...that lovely picture that finally shows that pregnant fat face is here. I don't notice it so much in the mirror, but the camera absolutely adds 10lbs directly to my face. Ella's super cute though!

Ga-Ga had the kids Easter Eggs and empty egg collecting baskets in the family room waiting for us to hide the eggs. Ella decided why should she wait for us to hide them...she just went over and started putting them in her basket. This is her showing Pa her eggs she "found".

Cute little stinker!

Kids all ready to hunt for eggs!

And there off! It was SO nice to be able to "hide" the eggs outside.

The boys were all over the place.

Ella walked outside and immediately noticed the bubbles and got a little sidetracked.

We had to lead her in the right direction in order for her to get any eggs.

Owen found the one that I hid in their mailbox.

Jackers was a great hunter! In fact he loved getting the eggs that Ella dropped because she was running too fast and they would fall out of her basket!

Checking out their candy!

The eggs were filled with lots of jelly beans!

And here is all the candy the kids got! Seriously we have enough candy to last until Halloween....maybe! ;)

At our last MOPS meeting Owen's class made Resurrection Eggs. Owen has had a blast telling the story over and over. He's so cute and anal about how he does it. He has to say the number that's on the egg, shake it, open it, talk about it and put it back and then do it all over again. 12 eggs can take quite awhile for him to get through. This time he told the story he decided to add an additional step...eating a piece of candy between each egg.

The kids got totally spoiled by Ga-Ga & Pa and Uncle Ry & Aunt Stephie. On top of TONS of candy they all got shirts, socks, Pez Despensers and bendy straws. Ella got hair clips, a Princess cup & little people toys. The boys each got Play-Doh and Star Wars characters. Owen got Pirate gear and Jack got a plush Darth Vader.

While we were hanging out before the kids opened their baskets Jack came up to me and said, "I got Darth Vader in my basket"....he and Owen had gone upstairs and found their baskets before it was time. It was so cute that he tattled on himself.

Owen has wanted a "spy glass" for so long...he was pretty excited to get one.

Other than breakfast the kids seriously didn't eat anything of nutritional value. There are a few days in the year that this is expected and Easter is definitely one. Towards the end of the night Ella and Jack did eat some strawberries.

On the way home all the kids ended up falling asleep in the van. Then once we got home the boys woke up and started complaining about going to bed and that they weren't tired. It was a bit dramatic and totally expected.

Last but not least...the family Easter picture!

This picture brings up a bunch of emotions for me. See this time last year we had a similar family picture taken at our churches Easter breakfast. I was pregnant with Kyan at the time and showing, but he had already died. We didn't find out until the Friday after Easter though. It really tainted that picture for me. I am so overjoyed that this year I'm pregnant again and Baby Z is doing well. It just goes to show you that you never know how much things can change in just one year!