Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Awful Very Bad No Good Day!

The Monday before Christmas was the first day Michael had gone to work since we all got sick. Ella was still sick and her cough didn't sound good so that morning I called the Dr. at 8am on the dot and got the 3 kids that were sick appointments at 9:15. With rushing and a lot of shouting we got out of the house in time to make it to the appointment. 

The kids doctor has moved to another floor so the office was new and oh so exciting! 

They were so good during the appointment getting all checked out. 

Zeke did well too except when the Dr needed to listen to his heartbeat....he was freaking out about that for some reason. Turned out that we all had the flu. She didn't swab us for an official diagnosis because it had already been past the 48 hour window you have to get Tamiflu. But all the symptoms we told her pointed straight to flu. She basically said we needed to keep doing what we were doing....motrin for fevers and she recommended Zarbees cough syrup for the kids. I had hoped that she might check me out to see if I had a sinus infection, but she couldn't do that because she's not my doctor. The first ding in my day.....a little ding, but still when you think about how doctors used to operate years and years ago that would have never happened. It's all this stupid red tape that they have to jump through that keeps them from actually helping people. 

Once we left I called my Mom and she came up to watch the kids so I could go to Urgent Care since of course I couldn't get an appointment at my primary doctors office...seriously why do I even try. I honestly have to call at least a month in advance to get an appointment. So annoying! 

When Mom got to the house we chatted a bit and then I remembered the Immediate Clinic in Burien lets you schedule your appointment online and then they text you when it's 20 or so minutes before your appointment. I love it! Keeps there waiting room not so crowded. So I scheduled an appointment for 1:33 and waited until I got my text and then it was off to the Clinic. 

When I walked into the Clinic I knew something was off...the waiting room was pretty full already. The door makes that ding sound to alert the front desk that someone has come in, but it took a few minutes for the receptionist to come out. She asked how she could help and I said I had an appointment. She asked me if it was for here.....well yes, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. Strange question. She looked and looked and couldn't find me in her computer. I told her how I had made the appointment and she asked to see the text. Then she explained that they have another Immediate Clinic just down the street....now the strange question made sense. I breathed a sign of relief thinking I just came to the wrong one. She called that Clinic and no such luck...no record of my appointment. Turns out there system has been doing that lately where it will let your reserve an appointment even though there isn't one. Awesome!!! The wait at that Clinic was 2.5 hours and 1.5 hours at the other one. I was not feeling good and after the week I had I was a bit overwhelmed to so I just walked out. I sat in the van and looked up the Urgent Care in Federal Way that I've gone to before. The wait there was only an hour so I figured I'd go there. 

When I started driving I just got really emotional and started crying. By this time it really felt like no one wanted to help me. I just want to get better. I called the Federal Way Urgent Care again to see if I could get my name put on a list since I was on my way, but they won't do that. The Immediate Clinic has this thing called Getting In Line so I thought it was worth a shot. I almost just drove home and said screw it because I was so emotional, but then I figured Mom came up so I could go so I needed to. 

The wait at the Urgent Care didn't really take that long and honestly the second the door shut after the nurse did all her stuff the doctor was walking in. That's unheard of! He gave me a check up and decided to give me some strong antibiotics for my sinus infection. He asked if I wanted them sent to the Fred Meyer's on 21st street and I said no....I told the nurse the one on Pac Hwy. Oh well since it was entered that way in the computer there was no way to change it and the Rx's had already been sent off. Thankfully they could call them into the correct pharmacy, but I felt a little irritated that the nurse didn't listen to me. I know mistakes happen, but my emotional state at this point wasn't good! 

I left the Urgent Care and headed to Fred Meyer's by my house. I had to do some last minute shopping anyways so I figured I would shop and then I Rx would be filled. I did stop at the pharmacy to explain that I had just been to see a doctor and he called in a Rx and I was in the store so they could call me over the intercom when it was ready. I thought maybe that might hurry things along since they actually know I'm there and not waiting to pick up my Rx until the next day. So I did my shopping slowly and then headed over to the pharmacy. I hadn't heard my name, but I figured I was just focused on something and didn't hear it. I get up to the desk and they have no Rx ready for me. She asks me if they sent it in. I tell that he said they would call it in. She goes and checks the fax machine....not sure why since I said call in. Then she says, "Oh we've been too busy to check our messages"! Are you freaking kidding me! I specifically stop by right when I get there to let them know and they don't even check their messages. I'm holding it together, but I'm also getting really light headed since the only thing I've had to eat all day is half of a donut and a little Pork Roast leftovers. I finally tell her that Michael will come pick it up since I needed to go home. 

On top of being hungry I'm also parched! I know that my water bottle is in the van and I can't wait to chug some water. I haven't been able to drink much the last few days so I'm a bit dehydrated. I load the groceries into the van and then hop in the driver seat reaching for my......Are you freaking kidding me!!! I left my water bottle....my favorite water bottle at the Urgent Care all the way on the other side of town! This is when I started crying for the second time. On my way home I call my Mom and apologize for this taking so long it's almost 5pm and I left at 1pm. Michael was going to be home soon so I told her I was just going to drive to the Urgent Care and get my water bottle. So I headed all the way across town and thankfully my water bottle was sitting right there on the counter waiting for me. I grabbed it and then my phone rings.....your Rx is now ready. 

So back to Fred Meyer's I go to get my antibiotics. Nothing major happened this time thankfully and I was finally on my way home and it was now almost 6pm. I drove up to the house and noticed my Mom's car was still here. I walked in and put my purse down hoping that Michael would get all the stuff out of the van because I seriously felt like I might pass out any minute, but he was busy being awesome and making the kids pancakes for dinner. Now during all my driving I had had lots of time to think. I was thinking of all the fun things I wanted to do with the kids now that we were feeling better....cookie decorating, playing board games and I was so looking forward to the next day when I was going to make them pancakes for breakfast. Now I know this sounds silly, but when I saw Michael had made pancakes for dinner that fun thing was just ripped away from me. By this time days and days had been ripped away from me being a mom and a homemaker because I was sick I couldn't do anything. I absolutely love my job....I'm good at my job and I want to do my job. Again...emotional! 

So anyways since Michael was busy I lugged in all the groceries and got all the cold stuff in the frig and then said....I'm going to sit down. Then Michael asked if I could help by getting the kids pancakes fixed. That is when I really lost it! Tears...not just nicely sliding down my face....no bent over on the counter, hands on my head and I'm heaving I'm crying so hard. This is after I said, "I can't take". Michael was so wonderful he stopped what he was doing and held me and let me cry. I went in search of a tissue since we were almost out I found then in the living room where my Mom was with the kids. Of course the kids are all wondering what's going on with mommy and I'm still in the middle of my ugly cry and trying not to hyperventilate or have a full on panic attack. I remember trying to catch my breath and just being able to take these tiny shallow breaths all the while crying my eyes out. I heard my Mom's voice saying my name over and over trying to bring me back to reality and get me to relax and breath. I was a mess! 

After a few minutes I settled down a bit, the kids went off to the dining room table for dinner and Michael brought me a plate of pancakes. The rest of the night my eyes felt so sore from all the crying. After the kids went to bed Michael and I got to talk about it and I told him all about my horrible day and about how I felt when I saw him making pancakes. Saying it out loud made it funny! It was silly, but it was something I was looking forward to since I know the kids love them. By this time I had just felt so robbed of being a mom and a homemaker from being sick for so long. I compare it to the feeling I have after having a C-Section where I can't do a bunch of stuff for myself and after a week or two I'm just done and I want to do things for myself and take care of my baby by myself. It definitely gave me a new found joy for my role of being these precious kids mom. 

Prior to my awful day I had already been in a grumpy mood because of a few things happening on Facebook. That night Michael mentioned that if we didn't have social media I wouldn't have gotten upset about it because I wouldn't have known. I got to thinking about that and the next day I decided to uninstall Facebook on my phone. I need a break and I want to make sure I'm spending Christmas break with my kids and not my phone. During the day it's been very eye opening as to how many times I would actually check it and in turn check out of being a mom. Just a minute honey I'm looking at something.....how many times have I said that! I want my kids to remember me looking in their eyes when they talk with me and not me staring at my phone. My plan is to be disconnected until after the New Year, but who knows. I might just veto social media for longer! 

This has been a really long and drawn out post. It was mainly for my records. I'm not even going back through to proof read it so there is probably tons of typos. If you made it this far you're amazing!