Not Me Monday!

This week we did not have nachos two days in a row for lunch. I do not think that Doritoes can count as a main course for a meal. We always have gourmet meals around here since I have countless hours to spend cooking during the day while the children quietly play by themselves. HA!

On Thursday when we were at the zoo my 2 year old did not puke all over my soft pretzel that I had just bought. I did not go ahead and stay at the zoo because he told me his tummy was "all better". He was not so exhausted at the end of our animal adventures that he fell asleep in the car. I did not take photographic proof of this while I was driving!



Oops...maybe I did! Seriously people this kid NEVER and I do mean NEVER falls asleep in the car.

I did not spend a good 15 - 20 minutes yesterday picking clumps of cat hair off some old sheets in hopes that we can use them. We haven't had cats in our house in over a year and I'm such a thorough cleaner of course there are no more traces of them. So it's absurd to think that I just found a piece of a cat nail in my carpet earlier this week as well....no way!

Since it was cloud and colder here in Washington last week I did not let Owen watch Playhouse Disney everyday. We do not know all the dance moves at the end of the Imagination Movers or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Even if we did we most certainly never dance around in our undies! :)

Not Me Monday!

Wow...I did not totally forget what day of the week it was and forget about posting my NMM until 8:15pm!!! That would never happen!

1. I did not spend the last 3 days having a garage sale at my house and in turn completely neglect my house. I am a totally Suzy Homemaker and on top of it all the time.

2. I did not do at least 5 loads of laundry today!

3. Yesterday while eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes I did not have the entire bowled pulled down all over me by my ferocious eater of a 1 year old. I did not end up having to change all my clothes with the exception of my bra.

4. I did not actually turn my phone off while the boys were napping so I myself could catch a few zzz's and not be interrupted. I am always in the mood to talk to my friends or family especially during the hours of 2 - 4.

Not Me Monday!

Check out the new logo created for NMM!!! I like it! MckMama had fun having people be creative and come up with something new and this is the one she picked as the winner. With that being said....

1. Our family has not been struggling with the stomach flu for almost a week now. We are insanely healthy people and never get sick like this.

2. Last Friday when I thought the stomach flu had pasted us by the boys and I did not go and visit my friend Steph and in turn get her sick. I do not go hanging out with people and spread my germs all around.

3. On Friday while we were with Steph we made a trip to Walmart...upon getting out of the car I did not noticed that Jack had something peculiar on his face only to find out that he had had the biggest blowout diaper to date and had smeared it on this face. This does not happen to my baby. He is always able to keep his poop inside his diaper. I did not subsequently strip him naked and have him stand barefoot on the Walmart pavement so I could clean him up and he wouldn't get anymore poop on my car.

4. Jack has not have 3 more blowout diapers since Friday.

5. I did not go to Victoria's Secret yesterday to get new bras because I'm barely nursing anymore I shouldn't really be wearing a nursing bra. I did not have to get measured and upon learning what my actually size was almost weep in the store. I am not already considering starting a savings account specific to enlarge my breast size.

Not Me Monday!

It's been two weeks since the last Not Me Monday over at MckMama's so get ready and hold on tight!

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1. I do not specifically go shopping at Costco with my boys during the lunch hour because I know there will be plenty of demos going on so they can eat lunch, stay happy and I can get my grocery shopping done. Furthermore...I would not pick up a sample of a Chicken Bake of the floor and feed it to my son for goodness sakes who knows what's living on the floor of a Costco!

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2. Two weeks ago I did not go in to get Owen after his nap and hear, "poop poop undies" right when I walked in. I also didn't see Owen's night-night undies (Pull-Ups) half removed and poop on the sheets. Oh no...my child does not remove his poopy Pull-Ups and get skid marks on my nice clean guest sheets!

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3. I did not go to Value Village and realize that Jack had pooped and then open the diaper bag to find that there we NO diapers. I always restock my diaper bag. I did not have to use one of Owen's Little Swimmers instead. Later when we arrived home I would not put the same pair of Little Swimmers back in the diaper bag since Jack didn't pee or poop in them. Hey they may come in handy again...I mean of course they won't because that didn't happen!

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4. I did not decide one day to actually dress up in nice jeans and a fancier top and then proceed to take the boys for a walk around the neighborhood in the wagon. Who do I think I am...one of the Jersey Housewives! I also did not get in a working mood when we got home from our walk and do a bunch of yard work in my same nice clothes and dressier shoes. Who does that?

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5. I definitely did not walk into the bathroom this last week to find Owen swirling his foot in the toilet with his sock on in water the had just peed in. This would be absolutely disgusting and not something my child would do.

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6. I am not re-reading the Twilight Series and totally addicted to it like it's the first time I've read it. I have not tried to immerse myself in a Bella/Edward/Jacob world ever free moment of my day for the last 3 days. Free moment....what's that!

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Okay it's your turn to 'fess up!

Not Me Monday!

This Not Me Monday will include things that have happened in the last two weeks since there wasn't a Not Me Monday post last week. Head over to MckMama's to join in the carnival.

1. Two Sunday's ago I did not set a burning flame in front of my one year and just assume he wouldn't reach for it. I would not be crazy enough to do that. (FYI...I reviewed the tape and Jack did NOT (seriously) get a hold of the flame. I blew it out before he touched it)

2. I did not let my boys consume a soft pretzel, wheat thins, a pop tart and a cheese stick for dinner because we were at the mall and that's all I had on hand and I had a coupon for the pretzel. We always eat food from all the food groups.

3. This last week I did not say to Owen, "No you don't push mama's ding dong you can push your ding dong though", and then think....hmmm that sounds bad! (I was referring to the doorbell. He wants to push our doorbell over and over, but he has a doorbell on his playhouse that I'd rather he push.)

4. I also did not have to explain to Owen that we don't kiss poo poo, after telling him to say bye bye to his poo poo when we were going to flush the toilet.

5. Jack is definitely not toddling around the entire house after only just taking his first steps a few days ago. He was not faking that he couldn't walk for weeks now.

6. I have not hit my left big toenail so many times in the last 2 weeks that the nail is halfway ripped off. I'm not in pain every time my boys step on or touch it. I do not wish I could just rip it off and get it over with.

7. I did not actually post a picture of the victorious end of a moles reign against our lawn. I would never post picture of anything dead on my blog...that's just weird.

What have you not done lately?

Not Me Monday!

If you need to vent about how your life is not so normal head over to MckMama's for some free therapy.

1. I was not so busy this weekend that I left a load of laundry in the washer and opened up the laundry closet to that sour smell. The clothes are not rewashing as I type this.

2. We have not been having days and days on end of gorgeous sunny weather here in Seattle...everyone knows it just rains here nonstop!

3. I did not have to completely strip the spare bedroom bed down after Owen totally peed all over it during his nap time. I have not finally given in and bought a package of Pull Ups calling them his nighttime undies so I won't have to do that again.

4. I did not hitch a ride with my friend Becky up to the upper parking lot at Seahearst Park last week because I didn't want to walk up the hill with both boys in the wagon. I also most certainly did not have Owen just sit on my lap during this short drive...I would never pull a Britney Spears move and endanger my son. Oh and we most certainly were not just sitting there in the front seat without our seat belts on either. (Jack was down at the beach with Miss Kim and she most certainly did not do the same thing with Andy when I drove her up to the upper parking lot so she didn't have to walk up the hill either. Oh she DID wear her seat belt though!)

Okay your turn!

Not Me Monday!

Brutal honesty....you asked for it MckMama!!

1. This week I did not have to deal with an almost 2 1/2 year old that went backwards with his potty training because Michael and I went away on vacation. I did not get so frustrated with him because he was having so many accidents that I decided I would put him back in a diaper so I could run to Lowe's. I am not one of those Mom's that flip back and forth between diapers and undies.

2. I did not spend most of Sunday in a sour mood all because of something my husband said that I blew out of proportion. I never do that and this is most certainly not something I did.

3. I did not go to Costco with my potty training toddler and almost one year old to do all our grocery shopping, buy our food and then drive the entire shopping cart right into the bathroom into the handicap stall so Jack could just sit in the cart and I could deal with getting Owen on the potty. I most certainly did not get funny looks from quite a few people.

4. After leaving our neighborhood Fred Meyer while running some errands by myself I did not say to myself...."Hmmmm, I could sure go for a Slurpee right now. If I pass a 7/11 I'm totally stopping. I probably won't pass one on my way to Albertson's though.", and just then while I was sitting at a red light look to my right and see a 7/11. I most certainly know what businesses are in my own neighborhood and this wouldn't shock me in the least. I also did not perform an illegal lane change in order to fulfill my desire of getting my Coca Cola Slurpee.

5. I did not actually jump up and down with frustration after Owen touched my keyboard once and it totally started doing crazy things. I did not almost start crying when I was not able to figure it out thinking about my brand new wonderful laptop NOT work right. I'm an adult and I act like one at all times.

Okay peeps that was honesty! Your turn!

Not Me Monday!

Brutal honesty is the best...especially when 800 some odd people are being honest with you. That's how many people participated last week in this blog carnival thought up by MckMama. So head on over to her blog and consider joining in with all us brutally honest bloggers.

1. I did not wait until 9pm the night before our trip to pack my suitcase and in turn strictly pack cold weather clothes for our trip to San Francisco last week. Of course I know 60 degrees and sunny is short sleeve and Capri weather I'm not so out of it that I think the rest of the country is stuck in disgustingly cold weather like Seattle.

2. I did not actually consider and say out loud (to my husband) that I would nurse any small child I saw while we were at Fisherman's Wharf because it had been over 12 hours since I had pumped. Furthermore I did not repeated grab my breasts and hold them because of the excruciating pain I was in.

3. I did not actually sit in our rented PT Cruiser pumping at The Golden Gate bridge lookout point and not even care if people walked, drove or rode by the car. (Thankfully the lookout point wasn't that crowded so we had a relatively private parking spot)

4. On the flight back from San Francisco I did not have to focus on my breathing to stop myself from screaming, "We're all gonna die", because the pilot took off and immediately veered to the right. I'm not one of "those" people that should really have a drink prior to flying.

5. I am not totally dreading the housework that accumulated while I was gone. I am a stay at home mom who loves housework and all it entails. Oh joy!

Not Me Monday....is back!!!

***Correction***

Owen is actually 28 months old not 25...my mommy brain was working in high gear when I posted this.

Mckmama is back with her blog carnival and it's better than ever. Enjoy the brutal honesty and consider joining in the fun over at My Charming Kids.

1. This last Monday I did not completely wreck my back by stretching after nursing Jack. It certainly wasn't bad enough that I had to call Michael and have him come home from work so he could drive me to the chiropractor because I could barely breath.

2. This week I did not stay home most of the week because my 25 month old was potty training and I was freaked out about leaving the house and having accidents.

3. Owen did not do a fantastic job potty training....after all he is only 25 months and there is no way a BOY can be potty trained that fast.

4. Jack did not throw one of Owen's shoes in the toilet before Michael could shut the lid...we do not have potty parties in the bathroom while Owen is doing his business. Privacy is a top priority in our family.

Okay it's your turn to fess up!

Not Me Monday

Check out MckMama's blog and join the fun!

1. I did not get in a mood to completely organize the garage on Saturday night after a 4 hour scrapbooking event at our church. I'm not that organized and driven.

2. I did not spend 3 hours with my best friend from junior high this week. We did not have a terrific time reminiscing about "the good ol' days". We also absolutely did not laugh our heads off looking at old pictures of ourselves in bikinis.

3. I did not get to go on a date with my husband yesterday and we did not choose to go to a kids movie instead of an adult romantic comedy. We were totally aware that we were surrounded by children in the movie theater and not just sitting with a few adults. Of course we saw those little tykes walking into the theater it's not like they weren't tall enough to be seen over the seats. We were totally not surprised to see all the children in the theater once the lights came on at the end of the movie. (Bedtime Stories is an excellent movie I would recommend it!)

4. I did not spend a good hour yesterday redo my blog and about pass out when I realized I had lost my blog list. Thankfully I was able to retrieve the information because I am a follower of each of the blogs I read so blogger had that information saved for me already. Phew!

Not Me Monday

Head to MckMama's blog to see what other hilarious things people are fessin' up to this week.

1. I did not melt the lid to the cream cheese on the stove. This is not something I do a a pretty regular basis. I am always observant and I definitely see that red light glowing on the stove warning me that the burner is still in fact hot.

2. I did not try to lick Pumpkin out to Jack's hair after lunch on Thursday because I didn't want to get up and get a washcloth. I'm not lazy in the least bit!

3. I did not have to call my mortgage company 3 times this last week trying to straighten out the fact that THEY deposited MY check for February into someone elses account. I did not have to actually send in proof that I paid my mortgage on time and then have to ask them to remove the late charges they had added onto my account for THEIR error. I am not completely furious with them in the least!

4. I did not let my 9 month old try the following foods this last week...french fries, ice cream, 2 different types of chips, bacon and a girl scout cookie. I strictly follow the guidelines that are put in places for infants and their eating habits and I do not turn to mush when Jack looks at me and at my food with an expression that says, "Pleeease mommy!"

Not Me Monday

Welcome to the MckMama blog carnival that's devoted to get it all out in the open. What did you not do this past week??

1. I did not stuff the Fisher-Price Stack and Roll Cups under my sons shirt to make him look like he had boobies and a baby belly. That would be completely ridiculous and not funny in the least. I did not practically roll on the floor with laughter while doing this and I most definitely did not get a picture of it....Okay maybe I DID do that!

2. I was not still dealing with a sick baby this week. He did not cough and throw up on me so many times this week that when he coughs I now turn him away from me so I will only have to change his clothes and not mine.

3. I am not so absolutely engrossed the Twilight series of books that I ask my husband if it he thought it would be a bad idea to drop the kids off at the church nursery on Sunday and then go out to the car to read my book. He did not look at me agast that I would even think of that let alone speak it out loud.

Not Me Monday

Join in the fun with all of us "Wolverines" over at Mckmama's Blog. You won't regret it!!! Come on...what have you not done this week???

1. I did not take Jack's diaper off right before his bath thinking it only had pee in it to discover that there was in fact poo in it as well. Of course I had the baby wipes handy so there would be no reason that I would have to carry a naked poo butt baby across the room in order to get a baby wipe and I of course did not get poo on my arm because I thought I'll carry him facing me so if he pees he'll just pee on me and not everywhere else. That would be gross and that would so not happen to me because I'm prepared for everything!

2. I did not actually comment to husband on Tuesday night, "Why did you pick him up so fast? You should have gotten the camera!", when Owen fell off our bed and was doing a handstand. I am way more concerned with the safety of my child and not getting these types of incidents on camera.

3. I did not go on a shopping spree for yams and squash in order to make Jack baby food and end up over buying. I did not end up having 6 ice cube trays of yams and 4 ice cube trays of squash that would be crazy and a little obsessive.

4. After last weeks Not Me Monday post I did not start feeling so guilty over my dirty sheets that I ripped them off my bed that afternoon and tossed them into the washer to get them clean. I absolutely did not forget about them being in the washer until Thursday morning and I did not have to wash them again!

5. Yesterday Michael and I did not have to start implementing timeouts for Owen because he has entered the "I'll scream at you if I don't get what I want" phase. No way! My two year old is totally well behave and will required none of that!

Not Me Monday

Check out MckMama's Blog and all the other bloggers who participate in this freeing online carnival.

1. This week we were not again dealing with two sick children. My kids do not catch every little bug that comes around...no way!

2. I did not pump every 2.5hrs on Saturday and take Fenugreek in hopes of increasing my milk supply since Jack wasn't eating very much on Friday because of his cold and it was starting to get low.

3. In response to all my pumping I was not awakened on Sunday morning at 5am because my breasts were so engorged you would have thought I just gave birth to twins.

4. I did not use my sheets as a tissue for my runny nose because I was so exhausted that I didn't want to lean over and grab a tissue that was on my nightstand. I most definitely changed said sheets the morning after I did not use them as a tissue and I am most certainly am not still sleeping on said sheets.

5. I did not spend all of Valentine's Day unshowered, in my pajamas, watching episode after episode of 24 with my husband. That would be so unromantic. It's not like we have two sick kids and no babysitter and are only living on one income...sheesh! (Actually it was a great day and I wouldn't change it)

6. I did not just learn how to schedule my posts while posting this blog. I'm still not that naive when it comes to my blog.

7. After scheduling this post to automatically post at 7am I did not say out loud to my husband, "Now all I have to do in the morning is get on Mr. Linky...I hope I get on top of Mr. Linky!" (If you have no idea what I'm talking about head over to MckMama's blog and you'll figure it out. Today I was no where near the top of Mr. Linky, but I was closer than I've ever been.)

Not Me Monday

Have you thought about participating in the weekly carnival that's all the rage in blogger world? Head over to MckMama's blog and try it out.

1. On Saturday I did not spend over 6 hours in the car traveling to Oregon for a baby shower with my mother and my mother in law. I did not even consider or actually bring Jack along for the LONG and quick trip. It's not like he's nursing and couldn't stay at home with Daddy and Owen.

2. Owen did not start potty training on Saturday only to stop potty training on Sunday because Daddy was going to lose his mind. We are much more strong willed then our 2 year old son is.

3. I did not unwittingly wipe Jack's face on Sunday morning with a towel that was used to clean up Owen's accidents the day before. That would be so disgusting...in fact I might need to dip him in antibacterial gel.

4. I in no way would go to bed at 9:45 last night due to pure exhaustion after this weekends festivities...that would be so lame. Once the boys go to bed I'm supposed to party. Yeah right!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to the weekly carnival. I love Mondays. Head on over to MckMama's blog...her not me's are especially awesome this week.

1. This one is from last week I absolutely did not forget to post it because I have what's called momnesia! I did not put Owen in his big boy underpants hoping he would just "get it" and then have him pee through two of them in matter of minutes. I also didn't toss a pair of the peed on underpants aside and then a few minutes later discover Jack using said dirty underpants as a teething toy. No way that would be so disgusting that I would have brushed Jack's 3 teeth but I DIDN'T.

2. I most certainly did not have my haircut twice this week because the first haircut I received at Great Clips was a great disaster.

3. I did not go to the Elephant Super Car Wash with my girls friend to have a play date with our kids while our cars were being washed and vacuumed. We were most definitely not out number by our kids - 8 to 3.

4. In preparation for Owen to start potty training (this Saturday) I have not been trying to set up get togethers with my girl friends because I know I probably won't be going out for a couple of weeks. That would be silly.

Not Me Monday

Mckmama is on vacation, but she was super nice to schedule a Not Me Monday post for all of us that aren't sailing the Caribbean right now.

1. I most certainly did not try to practice EC with Jack this week to only have him scream at me when I put him on the potty. I did not get totally discouraged and decide maybe another day. I honestly don't mind listening to my children scream it doesn't bother me at all.

2. When Owen said poo poo last week I did not take him to the potty chair and have him sit there for the longest time only to think he must have just been practicing a new word and then put his diaper back on and have him poo poo in less than 20 seconds. No way! My big boy would much rather use the potty chair to do his business than his silly old diaper.

3. Michael and Owen did not end up coming down with salmonella from those Austin Peanut Butter Crackers that were recalled...no that doesn't happen to us. And I most certainly was not totally and complete ecstatic at the fact that I DID NOT eat the crackers. That would be horrible of me to dance around the living room feeling right as rain while Owen and Michael are suffering from such a illness. That would be so mean!

4. Michael and I most certainly did not miss watching Battlestar Galactic on Friday night. It's one of our favorite shows so we would never do that. (Thank goodness for full shows on the Internet)

5. I did not break down into tears this week because I'm feeling a little isolated right now and in need of some girl time. That would be really lame of me. (I'm going to hang out with my girl friend Jen on Wednesday. I really do need that!)

Okay it's your turn to be brutally honest. Let it out people!

Not Me Monday!

Join in the online carnival of telling everyone what you did not do this last week. Head over to Mckmama's blog and see what other people did not.

1. I am so not a total Suzy homemaker where I would spend the majority of my Friday afternoon making 6 ice cube trays of baby food and most of my Saturday afternoon an 'Owen' cake for my son's birthday party the next day. I have way to many other responsibilities to be able to take on tasks like that.

2. There is no way that I got puke on me a minimum of 3 times this last week. There is no way that this sickness could still around THAT long.

3. I did not give my child a bath last night at 9:30 because he woke up laying in puke and smelled so bad we had to do something about it.

4. Jack did not have to have two baths yesterday because first he puked on himself and second he pooped all over himself. That would be just too much for our already puked and pooped out family this week.

5. I did not buy Jello pudding snacks and Cool Whip in a can this week because they were on sale at Walmart and I convinced myself that if Bob on The Biggest Loser advertises them as a healthy snack then darn they are okay!

Not Me Monday!

I'm a little late in posting my Not Me's, but oh well I have two small kids so I have an excuse!! Check out MckMama's Blog and see what she and tons (Over 300 people participate in this every week) of others are not doing.

1. I have not been putting Jack to sleep in his car seat covered up in the dining room for his afternoon nap in order to get the most out of nap time. Owen can always sleep 3 hours with his brother screaming in the same room.

2. I did not discover that the my 7 month old was being kept awake at night because we were putting him to sleep with a bib on in order to keep his clothes dry at night because he's got a chewing addiction. He can totally sleep with a sopping wet bib wrapped around him...who couldn't! (Jack is sleeping much better now that he is NOT wearing a bib at night)

3. I did not call 411 twice to get the number to Kay Jewelers to see if my ring was finished being sized because I just couldn't wait any longer for it to come back. I did not think bad thoughts about those lazy workers down at Kay Jewelers for not picking up the dang phone when I let it ring over 20 times. I did not stop by and see if my ring was in because they wouldn't pick up the phone and then find out that the number 411 gave me was incorrect. My ring was of course was NOT ready at the time and I most certainly did not go all the way home to get a call a few hours later saying it was in fact at the store. Thank goodness this ring is worth it!!!!

4. I did not put the boys to bed on Friday promptly at 7:45 in order to rush over to my girl friends house so we could ladies night since all the guys were at my house playing poker.

5. I was not suckered into giving a guy cash yesterday because he needed money for gas. I most definitely can say no when the need arises.

6. I am totally not in love with my husband and two boys that I would rather spend an entire Sunday with them and only them instead of going to church or other family functions. I'm a complete socialite and love to be around others every moment of the day...okay I am a socialite, but some times enough is enough and I just want my boys!

Not Me Monday!

Here we go again! Monday's sure come fast don't they? Mckmama is back at it on her blog so check it out!

1. This past week I did not let my husband cook the majority of the meals. I'm so the typical Suzy Homemaker that I wash all the dishes, do all laundry and make all the meals. My husband always gets to come home from a long day at work and just relax.

2. I definitely did not walk through a doorway holding Jack and accidentally hit him on the side of the head because I did realize I was THAT close to the edge of the doorway. That would be just awful!

3. I do not try to sneak vegetables into my toddlers food in hopes he'll get some sort of nutrition. And he absolutely does not see right through this and refuse to eat said food with vegetables in them. He is smart, but surely he can't figure that out.

Your turn!