Ouch!

On Sunday Michael was running around playing with the boys before church. He just happened to get a little too close to one of the dining room chairs and he clipped it with his elbow. You know that feeling when you hit your funny bone...it hurts, but not horrible, but it still hurts. By the time we got in the van to go to church Michael was saying it still hurt and he rolled up his sleeve to look at it. He had a bump about the size of a golf ball right on the elbow. You could tell it was a bunch of fluid built up. At church he went up for prayer because it was still bothering him. By the end of the church the swelling was gone and he was feeling better.

Last night this is what it looked like! Michael always sits like this in bed and I was sitting in my chair in the bedroom with the sun shining in and I thought it was a funny shadow, but then I looked closer. That is one gnarly bruise!!!

The entire elbow is bruised and Michael does NOT bruise easily at all! All of that nastiness is from one tiny bump on the elbow! The funny thing is the color doesn't really look like a typical bruise it looks like he just happened to get really really tan on that one spot!

Popcorn!

This is how I feel when I'm out of popcorn too!

Reading And Procrastination!

A couple weeks ago I was reading my friend Melody's blog and she mentioned this book 'Have A New Kid By Friday' and I knew I should probably put a hold on it at the library and read it. Having said that I have at least 5 or 6 books either sitting on my nightstand or in the cabinet in the office that I've said the same thing about and have they been read yet? Nope!!! I have one book imparticular that my friend Kim gave me at least 2 years ago that I haven't even cracked open. I am such a procrastinator when it comes to reading things concerning life application. A true crime novel...a fictional vampire tale...a fictional wizardry story...heck I can read those in no time flat, but the stuff that might actually help me grow and get some new skills I just push to the back burner.

At my first session with my therapist she did read a little from this book called 'The Birth Order Book' and it was really good. It really opened my eyes to the reasoning and way Owen sees the world since he is a first born child. I told Kim that I really wanted to either buy it or get it from the library, but a few days later Kim and her husband Micah were helping sort items for our MOPS Rummage Sale and she came across an old version of the book...score!

I've been trying to set myself up on a reading schedule so I can hold myself accountable and maybe accomplish something. Michael plays WOW on Tuesday's and Thursday's so I've made those my reading nights....and here I sit blogging about it and guess what...it's a Thursday! I did read some during the day when all the kids were napping so that's good.

Anyway in 'The Birth Order Book' he mentions another book he wrote called 'Making Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours'. I thought that since I feel like I'm losing my mind most days I should probably go pick that up. The other night when I had to run errands I went to the library and tried to look it up on their computer. Of course I ended up butchering the name of the book so it wouldn't come up, but I did remember the authors name...Leman. So I looked it up that way and guess what was the first book on the list....'Have A New Kid By Friday'. Since I have an older copy of 'The Birth Order Book' I think that that 'Making Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours' might be an older book and that the Friday book is probably newer. Long story short I have the Friday book on hold and I can't wait to pick it up.

I have organized the books that I need to read in order of importance....

The Birth Order Book

Have A New Kid By Friday

Postive Discipline For Preschoolers

(If this is necessary after reading the Friday book)

Bringing Up Girls

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I also want to read some biographies and autobiographies...I have one on Laura Bush and my mom and dad have some on other influential people that I'd like to read. Thankfully most of the shows I like to watch are done for the summer so TV really isn't an issue right now. What's on your reading list?

Free Pool!

Another one of my garage sale find was this little pool. The best part was it was FREE! It's one of those hard plastic kind and there are a few scuffs and little holes on the bottom, but I just put masking tape over them and it held water.

I knew I didn't want the pool for the kids to actually sit in. I figured it would just be fun for them to play with their toys and containers like measuring cups and funnels.

Owen really enjoyed making a muddy river!


Just being outside in the sun has been so refreshing for all of us. I was super surprised that none of the kids got completely soaked...Ella did step into the pool to reach a toy in the middle.

Outdoor Living!

This is what the backyard play area looks like right now. You might remember it looked like this last summer. I eventually want to get an actual swingset to go here, but we just don't have that kind of money right now. I did check CL's and found a really nice Rainbow set for $600 (that's a steal), but maybe next year!

Why the change? Well the boys really like playing in the sandbox so last fall I had Michael bring it up and put it on the deck where it was covered from the elements. They have enjoyed playing in it all winter long.

Then last week I realized that Ella is almost 18 months old and hasn't even been in the playhouse yet. Since it's in the backyard down 17 stairs she can't get to it whenever she wants. So I asked Michael to move it up to the deck. It's amazing how a change of location can revive an old toy. We also moved the slide back out to the front yard in preparation for the pool to hopefully come out in a month or so. I'm in the process of teaching Ella how to climb up the ladder on her own and I'm not sure when I'll feel comfortable about letting her do it on her own...she is so not aware of where her body is in relation to scary high thing she can fall off of!

We decided to finish sprucing up the deck by taking a couple old chairs down and just getting everything organized.



I love how the trucks have their own parking spot! Like my new "shoe rack"? I got that VHS shelf for .75 at the Mill Creek garage sales. I kept seeing people selling shoes on shoe racks, but they weren't actually selling the rack. Then Kim noticed that shelf and thought why not use that as a shoe rack. It works!




The following morning after organizing the deck the boys asked me to take the picnic table out there too. That day we had lunch out on the deck.

Ella has really been enjoying the playhouse!

And so have the boys! Now if the temps would just reach the mid 70's so I can get them to go outside in short sleeve shirts!

MOPS Play Date!

Today was a WONDERFUL day! It felt almost normal! It was just what I needed. Last week I had been going through old pictures and I noticed some from a play date that we had at our house and it made me sad because I hadn't had a play date for a LONG time. I think I just got used to having Michael home and having his help. So I decided to have a MOPS play date with all the Care Group Leaders. Unfortunately it was pretty short notice and only 2 ladies could come, but it was so much fun!

Kim and Tricia came with their kiddos and the kids played and then we had lunch and dessert and then played some more. The kids got along great and the weather couldn't have been better!!! Yay for sun!

Tricia sure got her workout today trying to keep up with Aaron! Our backyard isn't fenced. Our kids know the rules about where to go and where not to go, but it's always hard for other kids because they just want to explore! I'm sure Aaron had a great nap today and I bet Tricia wished she got one! :)


I didn't realize how much Jack and Ella have the same eyes until I saw this picture!



Kim and I had this discussion today about the boys and how we thought that Jack and Andrew would be really good friends because they are only 3 weeks apart, but they aren't as close as Owen and Andrew are. I'm currently reading The Birth Order book and these two first-borns sure do get along and enjoy each other. I'm wondering if Jack and Josiah will end up being closer since they are both second children...only time will tell.

Kim with baby Siah...he was not himself today. He has a cold and yucky eye boogers! Poor baby...at least he wasn't cranky though!

After cookies it was time for me to work them off by pushing these cute boys. They had a good time, but Jack isn't as keen being on the tire swing. When he was done Aaron got on for about a half a push before he decided he would rather roam around and discover more stuff in the yard.

Owen and Andrew enjoyed going on the swing the longest! I think they could have been on there all day.

During this time Ella Bean was enjoying her cookies and getting really messy! Par for the course!

Then it was time to go and what's a goodbye hug without a goodbye tackle! I really needed today! I need to just have friends and fun all together. Thank you Tricia & Kim for coming over and hanging out with us! Can't wait to do it again!

Tire Swing Time Again!

Last week the weather was really nice for a couple day and we spent as much time outside as we could. The boys haven't been too interested in their tire swing in a long time, but the nice weather has reignited their interest in it.

Waves!

Lately I have been doing okay...trying to get back to normal as best I can. Trying to just live my new life. Even though it's the same life I had before it feels different. I find myself having good days and bad days...like waves...ebbing and flowing.

I've seen my counselor once since the baby died and am going again this Friday. I'm so looking forward to it. I need that time to talk it out. Surprisingly the last time I met with her we didn't really talk about the miscarriage we talked more about the kids and their behavior and how I can work toward correctly behavioral issues. We did talk about it, but I think it was still a little to raw for me to really dive into it.

Physically I'm feeling fine. I had my follow up appt with the doctor last Friday and everything is healing great. I'm the exact same weight...I mean like to the ounce...as I was at my last appt when we found out there was no heartbeat. Thankfully my stomach is starting to get smaller so I don't have the visual reminder as much.

What I do find myself doing is forgetting...forgetting that I'm not pregnant. I seriously had completely planned my year in my mind around this baby. Knowing that come October there was going to be another member added to our family. Knowing that in September when MOPS starts again I was going to be HUGE. I was going to be doing the crafts and carrying in heavy boxes and probably needing help with them. Thinking that I might not actually be there for a certain craft because I might be in the hospital having the baby. Knowing that in November when we head down to OR for Thanksgiving we'd be bring a newborn with us. I forget...and then reality hits and it's like, "Oh yeah I'm not having a baby...that's awesome"...said with the biggest sarcastic voice you can muster.

Emotionally I've been more angry lately...not at God, not at the fact that my baby died, but just angry. If I had to put a finger on it I would say I was angry at myself. Angry that I'm impatient with my kids, angry that most days I don't feel like I have it all together, angry that I feel like I'm being selfish because in my mind I don't get enough "me" time, angry that I'm a procrastinator as some things, angry that sometimes I'd like to just get in the car and drive away, angry...angry...angry!

I know that that is just one of the 5 stages of grief...so far I have experienced all five - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance...but not in that order. Not sure if that means anything though!

Conversation With Ella!

Ella has been signing more and using her voice a little too. I love that we are able to communicate more and more each day. In the video she says "Eeee" for cheese and "Ta" for thank you. She also signs please and waves bye bye.

If you are checking this on FB click here to see the video.

Mother's Day!

On Mother's Day afternoon I was finally feeling well enough to get out of the house. Michael wanted to take me out to dinner. The last thing I had really craved was Mexican so we went to Las Margaritas in Auburn. The food was good, but the service was awful...we ended up getting a voucher for a free dinner for the next time.

This is the first time in a long time we've taken the kids out to a sit down restaurant. It's not something that is very pleasant since patience isn't something kids usually have. Overall they did great though.

I pulled Ella's hair up for the second time and she was great about not pulling it out.


After dinner we went across the street to Lowe's to pick up a few things for the garden. Even though I wasn't feeling like I wanted to be around other people it was nice to get out.

SuperStar!

Too Cute For Words...Okay Not Really! :)

On Saturday at the Mill Creek Garage Sales I got a whole baggie full of hairbands and clips for Ella. My neighbor down the street brought her little girl Kendra up on Thursday and Rachael had Kendra's hair up like Pebbles Flintstone. When I saw the clips I thought I should buy them and see if Ella's hair could be pulled up like that.

Sure enough...she has just enough hair on top to pull it up. She is just SO scrumptious!!! She didn't even try to pull it out.



She had just gotten out of the bathtub before I put her hair up and I got a good picture of her curls...oh how I love her curls!! Then I figured why not have our first dress up session.

Not sure who gave us this outfit (Erin?), but it's totally adorable. I asked Ella if she wanted to get dressed up in pretties and she actually stood still so I could put this on her. If you know Ella IRL you know she HATES to be dressed with a passion. Once I put it on her I told her to go show Daddy. She walked down the hallway all shy like and was so proud of herself.

Cute little butterfly princess!!!