Saturday, November 6, 2010

Humbling

I think I want to vent a little so here goes...

In 6 more days Michael will have been laid off for one year....ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

I'm not mad about that though!

This whole experience has been a growing process for me. I've had to come out of my comfort zone in so many ways in the past year. It's all God's way of helping me be more compassionate towards others. See before all this happened I honestly had this irrationally let's just be straight about...stuck up way of thinking about people who were using State assistance. I thought they were all lazy!

Now since my family has had to be the ones using State assistance I know that way of thinking was so wrong...sinful really! Everyone at one point in their life struggles and needs help. We all need assistance whether it be from family, friends or the State.

So about the venting...it seems like there are a lot more people out there that feel the same way I USED to feel. Lately when I've gone to the store and paid with my WIC checks or my EBT card it's like I'm looked upon as a subhuman being. I'm usually shopping with one or more kids and I my ears almost hurt because they are screaming their accusations at me with their looks. Why doesn't she just get a job? Maybe you should stop having kids! Another lazy person that my tax dollars are paying for! And the list goes on and on!

There have even been a few times where the checker doesn't even talk to me...AT ALL! This one time she barely looked at me and of course the way you have to pay with WIC checks is very inconvenient so it holds up the checkout line and everyone behind me is staring and impatient. It's just hard to be looked down upon!

One of the biggest things I've learned from this is to not judge people. I can see how people could look at me with my kids and judge, but they shouldn't. They don't know that I struggled for 6 years with infertility. They don't know how much of blessing we believe our kids are. They don't know that my husband was and is a hard working man and he's not just sitting at home living off the State. There are a ton of people in our shoes right now and I just wish people would be more compassionate about it. I don't want pity...I just want understanding and not judgement.

2 comments:

Melody said...

Ugh. I can't even imagine how humbling that must be. It's hard. I know I've had those thoughts about people too. But, you never know the story behind the person. It's so easy to judge, but so, so, wrong. I'm sorry you are having to go through this! Hang in there!!!

da midwif said...

Your first sentence or two gave me a visceral reaction but I knew there was more to come. I'm glad you are humbled. I'm sorry that you are going thru it. We always hope for better days but some get lost...